Carlien de Roy van Zuydewijn
After having worked for many years as a legal advisor and registered mediator in divorce- and other familylaw-cases I was – so it seems – automatically pushed in the direction of coaching. Because over time I had come to the conclusion, that the real issue in most divorces is not so much the legal or the financial part, but the emotional part – which is all too often being translated in fights in the legal and/or the financial area. But being a mediator I was not allowed to address the ´emotional divorce´, which interested me more and more.
Apart from that aspect I saw quite a lot of people with great personal potential – especially women – getting stuck in their divorce-related problems – with all sorts of consequences for themselves and their children. Becoming a qualified coach became mandatory for me. So in January 2003 I started my MMS´CT-training and what an eye-opener it was for me. I loved the type of coaching I was taught. After that I extended my education to related areas as grief-counseling. By now my practice has been fully transformed from arranging divorce-arranging to divorce- (and relationship-)coaching.
My vision and mission
My education as a grief-counselor was an important follow-up to my coach-education. Because it made me aware, that people in divorce-situations too often overlook the fact, that divorcing is above all a process of grief and bereavement instead of shame, quilt and fingerpointing. I am convinced, that people going through this difficult period in their lives (or later) need more care and help in tending to their hurt souls and finding a new direction in life than they (want to) know. They think a beauty-therapist can help, hoping it makes them feel better. It does, but shortly and only on the outside. What they really need is an ´emotional beauty-therapist´: the essence of divorce-coaching.
The same can be said about relationship-coaching: here it is the relationship, that is ailing – while the partners lose sight of each other, struggle in the fog and start contemplating divorce. Here the emotional beauty-therapist is also needed, but in this area coaching is necessarily often mixed with mediation.
Though the topic in itself is often regarded as sad, I love to do this work – especially when I see my clients slowly discovering life and sunshine again… Can I help you?
- Relationship-coaching and -mediation
- Mediation in general